Firenze Makes a Sound

Firenze Makes a Sound

After having dinner with V and Katie I came home to an empty apartment. I was kind of relieved; I need this time alone. I cleaned up my side of the room, washed my face, wiped down the sink, picked up some wads of Kerry's hair off of the bathroom floor, took out my contacts, gave my face and legs a massage. My legs are tired; I do so much walking here that I'm thinking about getting a pedometer. I'd be interested to see how many miles I walk in a day. Katie (on the left) has one; she said in one day she walked 11 miles. I am not surprised.

I have to be at SACI at 8 am with my passport so that the authorities can verify who we are when our documents are turned in for permiso di soggiorno. Being at SACI at 8 means waking up at 7, but I am still awake. A day in Firenze is long, packed, and yet leisurely; no one is rushing, but it takes longer to do things since we walk everywhere, and sometimes behind very slow old women. Scusi. Grazie. Prego.

I'm surprised at the music I hear here; for months I listened to Italian Radio through iTunes in an effort to prepare myself for Italy. Now that I am here I hardly hear Italian music at all. I'm surprised to hear a lot of American music. It's music I am not particularly fond of - pop, hip hop, all the things I heard on the radio when I ventured away from NPR (I always went back). All I can figure is that the world must look to America for entertainment.

Now I am sitting in my little twin bed listening to Sasha Live: Cream @ Amnesia, Ibiza, Spain from last July. It's a DJ set that my friend Seth gave me right before I left. I've never heard this set but a part of me is always wishing that Symphony for the Apocalypse or Sao Paolo will come up - both are stirring and wild techno tracks with deep melodies. They bring me to a deeply internal and quiet place. Even if you're reading this and you've never listened to carefully crafted electronic music, or you think it's shit, or you don't even know what I'm talking about, it doesn't matter. A listening experience that set your head on right is not unique to techno.

It has been a while since I've heard any good electronic music, and I think this is exactly what I need right now: a little bit of home, a little bit of something engineered for ears. It's calming in a way; the four-four beat is smooth and the melodies are deep. I feel even listening to this; I feel the weight of everything I am experiencing and I cannot believe it has only been one week.

I have to be careful when I evaluate my new situation. Everything is new - streets, people, friendships, classes, culture, language, bureaucracy, pavement, food, air, weather, traffic ... it is really too overwhelming to think about all at the same time. I feel keenly aware of what I need - a hug, some water, hours to write, and time to sit down and laugh with friends.

I have made a lot of good decisions, but nothing can come close to this. At times, when I am feeling low (something that comes like a tsunami but does not last), I wonder what I have done to myself. Four months?! That is a very long time to go only seeing my loved ones in pixelated form. But sometimes we have to overhaul, have to remind ourselves of our smallness, and our own internal greatness. For a long time I have had everything I need for this journey, but I did not always know that tools mask themselves as problems.